essay about keeping friends secret

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How to show your friends you care about them

Kavitha George

Sylvie Douglis

This story was originally published on Sept. 12, 2022, and has been updated to include a rerun of the podcast episode.

When psychologist and friendship expert Marisa Franco went through a rough breakup in 2015, she felt like she had no more love in her life.

So Franco leaned on her friends for support. They did yoga, cooked and read together. As she and her friends grew closer, she realized they were a deep well of community and healing. And she began to understand the importance of non-romantic, non-family relationships.

Now, Franco wants to help others experience that profound level of friendship too. Her 2022 book, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends , offers insights on how to improve the quality of our platonic relationships using the latest research on human connection.

Marisa Franco, Ph.D. is a psychologist, friendship expert the author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends. Left: Darren Agboh/Right: G.P. Putnam's Sons hide caption

Psychologists have long theorized that humans need meaningful social connections to survive. In fact, it's linked to our mental and physical wellbeing. Knowing that we have people to lean on and care for us makes us feel confident and assured.

And the stronger our relationships are, the more likely we are to thrive, she adds. So how do we intensify the existing friendships in our lives? Franco offers four tips, based on her research.

1. Shower them with (platonic) affection

We often think of affection as the sort of love we show in romantic relationships. But affection is more than holding hands and kissing. It's about communicating love and appreciation.

There are many ways you can show platonic love to your friends, says Franco. Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them when you think of them in passing. Remind them you are grateful to know them. These simple acts provide a layer of security in the relationship. It shows your friends that you genuinely care for them and lets them know it's safe to invest in your friendship.

It might feel strange to show affection to a friend, she says, because unlike romantic relationships, platonic relationships often lack a script for explicit declarations of love. But research has shown that these displays of affection are much appreciated.

A 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Science asked people to write letters of gratitude to someone in their life and rate how they would be received. The participants consistently overestimated how awkward the recipient would feel and underestimated how happy it made them.

9 more ways to show your friends you love them, recommended by NPR listeners

However, cautions Franco, it's important to understand people's different levels of comfort when it comes to affection. Maybe one of your friends, for example, hates hugs but loves compliments. So talk to your friends and figure out their friendship love language, she says. Ask them: "How would you like me to show you that I really value you?"

2. Lavish them with your skills and talents

Being generous with your friends — sharing your time, attention or resources with them — is an easy way to nurture your friendships, says Franco. It's an expression of love that shows you want to invest more in the relationship.

"People want to be and stay friends with people who value them, and generosity is a way to express that," Franco says. And there's science that shows it pays off — a 2019 study in the journal Frontiers in Psychology found that junior and high school students who exhibited traits like generosity and empathy were more likely to build deep, long-lasting friendships than students who didn't identify with those characteristics.

Franco suggests a personal approach. "Think about what your skills and talents are and find a way to turn that into a generous act," she says. For example, when she found out that her friends wanted to learn more about how to set up investment accounts, she used her research and analysis skills as a psychologist to put together a presentation on the topic for them.

4 tips to stay connected when your friends live far away

You can share acts of generosity like this with your friends, too. If you're great with kids, you might offer to babysit for your friends who are parents. If you're a gym rat, you could help your friend train for a race they have coming up. Or if you got a raise at work, treat your friends to a fancy dinner to celebrate.

3. Spill your struggles, joys ... and guilty pleasures

Think about how good it feels to tell a friend you secretly like a trashy TV show and hear them respond "me too!" We feel a deeper connection to our friends when our vulnerability is met with validation and support, says Franco. It means they accept us for who we really are, the good and the bad.

It can be scary to be open with our feelings. It can come with the risk of shame or rejection. But research has shown that people are a lot less likely to reject you for being vulnerable than you think.

A study published by the American Sociological Association asked strangers to disclose varying levels of intimate information with a group of women. The researchers found that the more open the strangers were, the more the women liked them. "When someone's vulnerable with you, it indicates they trust you," says Franco.

So don't be afraid to share your struggles with your friends, whether it's an ex you're having trouble getting over or a new job you're having second thoughts about. They're not going to judge you — and it may bring you closer.

If you're looking for a way to let your guard down without divulging your darkest secrets, Franco suggests sharing something positive, like a personal achievement — maybe you just finished sewing your first quilt, or you broke your own time record on a run.

4. Don't sweep your disagreements under the rug

It's hard to deal with conflict in friendships, says Franco. People often see them as something that's supposed to be fun and lighthearted, or less formal than romantic or family relationships, so they downplay problems when they arise, she adds.

But being able to deal with conflict with friends in a healthy, constructive way can strengthen your friendships, she says. It might be painful at first, but it shows you want to be authentic with them — and that you want to make your relationship better.

Friendships Change. Here's How To Deal

In fact, research has shown that conflict is "actually linked to deeper intimacy," says Franco. A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships asked 273 participants to share a time when they felt hurt or angry when someone mishandled their private information. Those who were able to work out the problem with the people involved said that it improved their relationships.

So if you have an issue with a friend, don't sweep it under the rug. Try talking about it. Here are some tips:

• Start by telling your friend how much you value them , says Franco. It signals that the reason you're bringing up the issue is because you're invested in the friendship. 
• Use "I" statements when explaining your concerns so your friend doesn't feel like you're blaming them. For example, if you've noticed they've been canceling plans at the last minute since they started a new job, you might say: "I feel hurt when you bail on our plans without giving me any notice."
• Ask your friend for a different behavior you want to see in the future. For example, "It would be great if you gave me a heads up a few hours in advance if you know you're not going to be able to make it." 

While conflict might be uncomfortable at first, Franco says it's something to embrace. "It allows us to illuminate each other on how to be better for each other, forever enhancing a friendship."

The audio portion of this episode was produced by Sylvie Douglis. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823 , or email us at [email protected] .

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify , or sign up for our newsletter .

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Essay on Importance of Friendship

Students are often asked to write an essay on Importance of Friendship in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Importance of Friendship

The essence of friendship.

Friendship is a valuable treasure in our lives. It is a bond of love, trust, and mutual respect. Friends stand by us in times of joy and sorrow, making life more meaningful.

Role of Friendship

Friends teach us important life lessons. They help us understand different perspectives, fostering empathy and compassion. They also offer emotional support and help us build our confidence.

Friendship and Personal Growth

Friendship encourages personal growth. It nurtures our emotional intelligence, helps us learn to communicate effectively, and develops our problem-solving skills. True friendship is a gift that enriches our life journey.

Also check:

• Speech on Importance of Friendship

250 Words Essay on Importance of Friendship

Friendship, a profound human experience, is a cornerstone of our social fabric. It transcends the boundaries of race, religion, and culture, fostering an environment of mutual respect, understanding, and shared values.

Psychological Impact of Friendship

Friendship plays a critical role in our psychological well-being. It provides emotional support, helping to mitigate stress and anxiety. Friends serve as a sounding board, allowing us to express our thoughts and emotions freely, which can be therapeutic and contribute to our overall mental health.

Friendship as a Learning Platform

Friendship is also a platform for personal growth and learning. Friends expose us to diverse perspectives, encouraging us to think critically and broaden our horizons. They challenge our beliefs, prompting us to question and refine our viewpoints, fostering our intellectual growth.

The Role of Friendship in Shaping Character

Moreover, friendship shapes our character. The qualities we admire in our friends often inspire us to cultivate those traits within ourselves. They mirror our strengths and weaknesses, helping us to self-reflect and strive for personal improvement.

Friendship and Social Cohesion

On a societal level, friendships foster social cohesion. They promote empathy and tolerance, as we learn to accept our friends’ differences and appreciate our commonalities. This understanding and acceptance can extend beyond our immediate circle, promoting a more inclusive society.

In conclusion, the importance of friendship cannot be overstated. It supports our mental health, encourages personal growth, shapes our character, and promotes social cohesion. Despite its often underestimated value, friendship is an integral part of our lives, enriching our experiences and contributing to our personal and societal well-being.

500 Words Essay on Importance of Friendship

The value of friendship.

Friendship, a universal human experience, is not just a simple interpersonal relationship. It is a complex bond formed between individuals, serving as a cornerstone in the architecture of our social life. It provides us with a sense of belonging, emotional support, and personal growth.

Emotional Support and Mental Health

One of the primary importances of friendship lies in its capacity to provide emotional support. Friends are our confidants, providing us a safe space to express our feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams without the fear of judgment. They provide comfort during times of stress, acting as a buffer against mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Their presence and understanding can help us navigate through the complexities of life, promoting emotional well-being.

Social Development and Personal Growth

Friendship plays a crucial role in our social development and personal growth. Friends expose us to diverse perspectives, cultures, and experiences, broadening our worldview. They challenge our beliefs, encourage us to step out of our comfort zones, and inspire us to become better versions of ourselves. This process of mutual learning and growth is a significant aspect of friendship.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity

Friends provide us with the resilience to face adversity. They stand by us in times of crisis, offering emotional, and sometimes, practical support. Their presence can help us develop resilience, enabling us to bounce back from life’s challenges. The shared experiences of overcoming adversity often strengthen the bond of friendship, making it more profound and meaningful.

Physical Health and Longevity

The importance of friendship extends to our physical health and longevity. Studies suggest that strong social connections can contribute to a longer, healthier life. Friends can encourage positive lifestyle habits such as regular exercise and a balanced diet. Moreover, the happiness derived from friendship can boost our immune system, reducing the risk of chronic diseases.

Friendship and Society

On a larger scale, friendship contributes to societal harmony. It fosters empathy, understanding, and respect among individuals, creating a more inclusive and tolerant society. Friends from diverse backgrounds can help break down cultural and social barriers, promoting unity and cooperation.

In conclusion, friendship is a vital aspect of our lives, providing emotional support, personal growth, resilience, health benefits, and contributing to societal harmony. It is a cherished bond that enriches our lives, making our journey through life more enjoyable and meaningful. As Aristotle once said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.” This encapsulates the importance of friendship in our lives.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Friendship — Making Friends And The Importance Of Friendship

Making Friends and The Importance of Friendship

• Categories: Friendship

About this sample

Words: 1035 |

Published: Feb 8, 2022

Words: 1035 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

Table of contents

Friendship essay outline, introduction, types of friends, polar opposite friend, builder friend, best friend, friendship essay example, works cited:.

• The importance of making friends in life
• The value of having diverse types of friends
• The positive impacts of different types of friends on one's life
• The benefits of having a friend who is a polar opposite
• Encouragement to try new things and gain new perspectives
• Creating a balance in the friendship
• The role of a builder friend in providing support and guidance
• Trustworthiness and honesty in the relationship
• Pushing you to achieve your goals and dreams
• The unique bond and connection with a best friend
• Honesty, emotional support, and no-judgment zone
• Unconditional love and encouragement to be a better person
• The importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and caring friends
• The impact of friendships on personal growth and happiness
• Baker, E. D. (1989). "Symbolism in Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path.'" In E. D. Jones (Ed.), Masterplots II: Short Story Series (Vol. 7, pp. 3925-3927). Salem Press.
• Cowart, D. (1984). "Phoenix Has No Coat: Historicity, Eschatology, and Scapegoating in 'A Worn Path.'" Studies in Short Fiction, 21(1), 45-56.
• Duvall, J. D. (2004). "Overview of 'A Worn Path'." In Short Stories for Students (Vol. 19, pp. 1-15). Gale.
• Evans, R. C. (1973). "The Art of 'A Worn Path.'" The Southern Review, 9(1), 101-108.
• Friedmann, M. (1990). "The Inverted World of Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path.'" College Language Association Journal, 33(3), 282-289.
• Gaudet, M. (1989). "Life and Death in Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path.'" In E. D. Jones (Ed.), Masterplots II: Short Story Series (Vol. 7, pp. 3922-3925). Salem Press.
• Grimsley, R. (1984). "Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path': The Eternal Quest of Welty's Phoenix Jackson." Mississippi Quarterly, 37(4), 539-550.
• Korb, R. (2017). "A Worn Path." In Masterpieces of American Short Fiction (pp. 222-228). Greenwood Press.
• Moreland, R. (2010). "Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path' and the Slave Narrative Tradition." The Southern Literary Journal, 43(2), 15-26.
• Smith, E. A. (1984). "The Journey of Life: Symbolism in Eudora Welty's 'A Worn Path.'" The Mississippi Quarterly, 37(2), 231-239.

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• Writing Essay on Friendship: 3 Samples to Get Inspired

When in school or college, you won’t escape the task of writing an essay on friendship. It’s a paper revealing the power of having friends and reflecting on the corresponding values.

It seems easy to write. You craft a narrative about your mates, explaining what they mean to you. And yet, it’s an academic paper. So, some rules are still here on how to structure and format it.

In this article, you’ll find three samples of different essays on friendship. Feel free to use them to get inspired and better understand this paper’s nature and purpose.

Let’s answer all the questions related to friendship essays together!

What Is an Essay on Friendship?

First, the definition:

An essay on friendship is a short academic paper students write to express their thoughts and reflections on the topic.

The purpose is to:

• explore the phenomenon;
• understand what it means to you;
• realize the significance of having close people nearby;
• reveal the pros and cons of committing to a friendship;
• reflect on how friendship can help our wellness.

Friendship essays aren’t about “my friends and I” topics only. You can write about the role of friendship for mental health, craft an expository essay explaining the topic, or build a reflective essay on what friendship means to you.

Friendship Essay Structure

Friendship essays have a standard structure of academic papers. They are short and consist of three parts:

• Introduction about friendship
• Paragraph about friendship
• Friendship essay conclusion

In the intro, you start with an attention grabber. Feel free to use a quote, a surprising fact, or an anecdote. Introduce the topic and finish with thesis statements about friendship.

In a friendship paragraph, you support a thesis with facts, evidence, personal stories, etc. As a rule, essay bodies have three paragraphs minimum. So you can devote each paragraph to one aspect :

• Definition of this concept 
• Why having friends is essential
• What a friend can give you
• Types of friendship  
• Challenges mates meet on their way  
• Characteristics of a good friend  
• How to strengthen a friendship, etc. 

In the essay body, you can use stories and examples from your life to illustrate points. Tell about your friends and share personal thoughts — it will make your paper more compelling to read.

In the concluding paragraph, sum up the points and restate your thesis. Finish on a positive note, leaving readers with the food for thought.

Easier said than done, huh?

Below are three samples of friendship essays for you to see what they look like and how they sound.

3 Samples to Help You Write an Essay About Friendship

While Ralph Waldo Emerson friendship essay (1) is the top example of the paper on this topic, we’ll go further and provide several NEW samples.

Please check:

Short Essay on Friendship

This sample is perfect for high school students. As a rule, teachers ask them to write 150-200-word essays. The task is to describe concepts or things the way they understand them.

Narrative Essay on Friendship

Narrative essays are more about personal stories. Here, you can tell about your friends, include dialogues , and sound less academic.

500 Words Essay Sample on Importance of Friendship

Over to you.

Now, you have three samples and know how to structure this paper. Ready to write yours?

Let’s begin with the “Why is friendship important?” essay — and you’ll see that it’s not super challenging to craft. Be honest, share your thoughts, and don’t hesitate to write personal reflections on the topic.

Still don’t know how to start your essay on friendship? Our writers are here to help. 

References:

• https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/friendship.html
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